Here Without You
by guesswhoiamtoday67
Summary: I was in so much pain, it was hard to live for Charlie. Damn near impossible. But one day, one fateful day, I met HIM. My salvation in the flesh. Jacob. My first story, so the first few chapters will be short and fairly uneventful. Rated M just in case.
1. Chapter 1

_**A**_**N/Disclaimer: All I own is my ideas. And those are partly due to boredom in Study Hall and Math, so enjoy the fruits on my procrastination. Steph. Meyer owns.**

"_You…don't…want…me?" I asked, confused by the way the words sounded together._

I had always been in love with Edward. Even before I had met him. It was subconscious, I suppose. Edward and his sister-my best friend-Alice had insisted on throwing my a birthday party against by best wishes. I protested profoundly, but it was no use. Hell, I would lose against them in a thumb war, so this was not going to go my way. I got there and, surprisingly, had a good time. That is, until clumsy and ill-fated me just had to get a paper cut in front of a pack of vampires. That sparked insanity. Edward had to protect me, which flung me back into the piano. I crashed into plates, glass of course, and got even more cuts and lost even more blood. Boy, I sure can clear a room. Carlisle, the most immune to the scent of blood and also a doctor, stitched me up. But Edward was still not happy. He thought it was his fault for the mishap and left me. And that brings me to where I am today.

I lie strewn out awkwardly on my bed, searching aimlessly for Edward. My Edward. Memories flashed through my head, the first one of the first night he spent here with me. I sucked in air, trying not to remember without much luck. I flashbacked to our first kiss, that day in the meadow, meeting his family, that awful encounter with James, a hunter vampire who lived a nomadic life with Laurent and Victoria. They weren't like the Cullen's. James and his coven where the evil, so to speak, vampires who fed off of humans.

I traced the palest side of my arm, shocked to find rough scratches there. I forgot I even had those, I didn't remember where they came from. I moved on up to my hand, tracing the cool crescent mark on my hand from where James had bitten me. It reminded me faintly of holding Edward. A tear fell down my cheek at the distant memory of Edward and how he used to love me. Then again, maybe he never loved me at all. Maybe he was just humoring me, not wanting to hurt my feelings. He couldn't possibly love me as I loved him. Not even half.

I heard footsteps trudge up the steps, trying not to woke me. As if I could sleep. Charlie opened the door, morose clear as day on his face. I had just noticed my CD player was playing _Rebirth_ by Skillet. I gazed at it uncomprehendingly. How long had this thing been on? Was I _really_ that out of it?

I already knew that answer.

"Yeah, Charlie?" I asked, trying my best to put on a happy face for Charlie. He could see through my façade all the time, but who knows? Maybe one day he'll decide to just go along with it.

"Just coming up to tell you goodnight. So, um, goodnight, Bella." Charlie whispered the last part. Maybe he thought I was too breakable, and if he talked loud enough, he would break me. I half wished he did.

"Goodnight, dad." I muttered at the closed door after he left.


	2. The SupermarketLa Push

**AN/DISCLAIMER: I'll try, try being the operative word, to update at least 3 times a week. Don't hold me against that, though. This chapter is when Bella decides to do something with her life. I, sadly, only own my lame ideas.**

My old Chevy truck sputtered along what little highway Forks had. The green scenery enveloped me, distracting me from my problems if only for a second. The usual distaste for the trees, grass, wildlife, and bugs just wasn't present in me anymore. Nothing was. It was if I was dead.

Dead. The word sounded promising. New thoughts filled my mind. Thoughts of darkness creeping upon my consciousness, threatening to cut the last strings that help me in place. I wouldn't deny that. I couldn't. If I held on much longer….

I shook the thoughts from my mind almost immediately, not wanting to think to hard about them. I had promised Ed-_him._ I couldn't say his name anymore. And despite how he felt about me, I could never strop loving. I could never harm myself like that with such a promise hanging above my head everywhere I went.

The supermarket of Forks. It's the only thing dared to be called super in this hell-hole. I pushed the doors-they weren't automatic, like the ones in Phoenix- and entered the tiny store. I ran into someone in my absent-minded state. They didn't feel like a _person _though. At first I thought is was a brick wall. I looked up, slightly shocked that I didn't blush, at the man that towered over me who was grinning like an idiot.

"I'm…sorry…I should watch were I'm going…" I mumbled, picking up my purse. I didn't get up, though. I sat on the floor, staring up at the glorious-looking man above me.

"No, really, it's my fault. My name is Jacob Black." He held out a hand to either help assist me up or for me to shake. I didn't know which, so I just stared at it. "It's to help you up." Jacob grinned at me understandingly.

I grabbed his hand and shuddered lightly. It was like a flame to my skin, seeing as how accustomed I was to cold skin. "Bella Swan.."

His grin got wider, if that was possible. "You're the chief's daughter, aren't ya?" he asked after I was up.

I sighed. That's all I'm ever going to be known as, isn't it? I already knew that answer. "Yep." Then a thought popped into mind. "Hey, I've been here for a while, though. Are you new here or something"

"No, I live in La Push, not Forks." That explains why he wasn't avoiding me, like everyone in Forks was. Also explains why I hadn't seen him around here. I would've noticed his russet-colored skin, long ponytail, deep eyes….

_Listen to me! _I thought. _I just met the boy and I'm already starting to notice him! What is _wrong_ with me? _

_Jacob block through my thoughts. "So hey, wanna come to La Push and meet some of my friends?" he inquired, and I swear he looked embarrassed._

_I didn't have anything else to do. And Charlie would be proud of me. "Sure, just let me get the things I need here and bring them back to my dad's house." I said. He nodded and followed me as I shopped. Even into the "feminine" aisle. _

_After everything was paid for, me and Jacob climbed into my truck-he had walked here- and set out for La Push._


	3. Jacob

**AN/DISCLAIMER/ Stephenie Meyer owns all. She rocks the black fuzzy socks right off my feet. And yeah. This one may become longer, but no guarantees. Love ya, pets! OH! I forgot to mention. Lets pretend Bella never met Jacob and Billy in Twilight, and she found out about Edward through another person on the beach that day, K?**

The car ride wasn't as awkward as I had expected. Everything about him was contagious, you couldn't help but smile or laugh when he did. Eventually, though, we pulled up to a red house after around 15 minutes of driving and Jacob barking out directions when he wasn't cracking a joke or laughing at something I said. Even after months of my zombie like state, I laughed. It was brittle and pushing hysteria, but it was a laugh nonetheless. 

The red house wasn't large, not by any mean, but it looked…cozy. Warm. Inviting. It felt like home.

I mentally kicked myself. I hadn't even gone inside, and here I was, falling in love with a stupid house. And it was even a stranger's house! Someone I met at a supermarket that was huge and intimidating….

My train of thought was interrupted by this Jacob man opening my door. It wasn't sunny today, like most days in and around Forks, but it wasn't raining that terribly. I just noticed he was only wearing a short sleeved shirt that fit him well, but it wasn't very protecting against the drizzle. I was protected nicely in a new raincoat that I didn't remember buying, and I still shuddered against the Washington air. Jacob, on the other hand, looked completely at ease.

We walked up the pathway into his little red house, and warmth surrounded me when I walked in the door. _A house this small should be warm when the heater is on, less space to cover…_ I thought. I could see the end of the house from the doorway. 

"Hey, Dad." Jacob called to the seemingly empty kitchen. A man rolled his wheelchair out of the corner, sandwich in lap, and waved to his son. His brown faced smiled as he took me in. 

"Bella Swan, I presume. Your father Charlie has shared all about you." he said, rolling over to me to shake my hand. I took it reluctantly, knowing that if it hadn't been so long as I last did it, and almost blushed. This made Jacob nervous.

"Um, OK Billy. I think she's embarrassed enough." Jacob commented, tugging on my arm slightly. I waved politely at Billy and followed Jacob outside. We only walked in the drizzle for a minute, because Jacob led me into his garage. He turned on the lone light bulb, giving a slight spotlight to the car in the middle of the floor.

"Sorry about the mess, I've just been working on this car, and it's space consuming." Jacob mumbled, pointing to blue car on the floor.

"Um, yeah. It's quite the mammoth. What model is it?" I asked, trying my damndest to sound interested in the car. I'm sure he saw through my façade, but he didn't put up any signs that he did.

"A Rabbit. Oh c'mon! It's not as big as your decrepit truck out there!" Jacob teased, jabbing me in the ribs slightly. 

"Still, it's colossal! Oh shoot! I need to get home to Charlie before the milk spoils! Sorry, Jacob!" I yelled over my back as I made my way to my truck.

"Bella, wait! Are you coming back tomorrow?" Jacob yelled, chasing after me. He caught up to me almost instantly.

"Um, sure. Just call me and give me the directions." I said slamming the door to my truck and starting the engine. I gave him my number and drove off. 

The farther I drove away from Jacob's house, the bigger and more painful the hole got until I had to pull over. I sat like this, gasping for air, in my truck for about five minutes. The only reason I began driving again is because I needed to get home to Charlie.

Charlie's cruiser wasn't there when I pulled up, so that gave me time. After putting up the produce, I plopped down on the couch and sighed. Despite my best efforts, I began remembering how just months before I was sitting here with Edward watching Romeo and Juliet, with Edward whispering Romeo's lines in my ear.

About 10 minutes after I began my private pity party, Charlie pulled up. I composed myself and greeted him at the door. He asked what we were having for dinner, and I told him we were having lasagna. 

We ate in silence, so when the phone rang it made us both jump. Charlie got to the phone before I did, and he made a face as he answered it. Shock. Disbelief. Confusion. More shock. He finally handed me the phone, and I swear I saw his eyes gleam. He muttered something like, "Bella's got her groove back", and walked away.

"Hello?" I asked, even though I knew who it was. 

"Hey Bella, it's me, Jacob." Jacob's voice flooded my ears. He sounded manlier on the phone,.

"Hey Jacob. The directions?" 

"Ok, you go to the Forks Supermarket. You take a left, and you should come across a thick forest looking thing with a red fence in the front. Keep going and take a right, and you have my house." ((**I made that up. I didn't have time to look in the book to see if the actual directions were in there. Sorry.**))

"Thanks. I'll be back tomorrow. Bye." I said, and hung up.

I ignored Charlie's stares and climbed the stairs to my room. I shut the door and basically ran to my bed. I didn't dream tonight.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE!!READ, IMPORTANT!! Ok, so I forgot to tell you all, but Bella never met Jacob and Billy in Twilight. She found out through QUIL in my story, so there will be an interesting rivalry coming up. More to come, so yeah. Bye, pets!**


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